Number 2.

Claire: "Can we go back to discussing romance?"

Kurt: "Oh, because we all have some meaningful titbit to add, do we?"

Ethan: “Is there not possibly something to be drawn from all this? For all the time that we may have spent on “bettering ourselves” (as it were), we should never forget to actually live our own lives. Of course, the problem comes in at the level at how one is able to communicate with other people when information is too esoteric for most people. At any given point, people will not have read the same authors or listened to the same music, and as a result neither can be a meaningful source of conversation. The paradox to this is that I think we need to get away from the analogous old fashioned idea that the best and the brightest of people were all classics scholars. They would read the Roman and Greek Masters, and be able to quote them verbatim at any opportune moment. I think that the idea of intelligence has been adapted to such an extent that now we need to be able to recognise intelligence as operating on a number of spheres.”

Lester: “You still can’t get away from the fact that if you are going to dismiss music and literature as fairly futile sources of connection, then at best all that remains is to discuss the banal. We need to watch Jerry Springer and E-News as a safe source of conversation.”

Claire: “Wow, now that is low.”

Ethan: “And how do we then answer our earlier criticism that everyone is just not as capable, intellectually, as each other, but at the same time, argue that we need to recognise that intelligence can exist on a number of spheres? How do we make that criticism, but at the same time acknowledge that all people are different and that perhaps there needs to be a re-thinking of the traditional notion of intelligence that translates only as high test scores?”

Kurt: "You know, I really am rather tired of you harping on about this. Just because you feel that your social inadequacies are insurmountable, it doesn't mean we want to keep discussing them. These diatribes about how no-one listens to obscure music, or reads old books is getting very dull."

Ethan: "Well, I am just trying to say that the world has gotten too large for us, in that there is just too much information such we end up constantly looking for common ground as opposed to actually discussing what we are really interested in."

Kurt: "Oh God, not another Coupland quote. He is so passé, and besides which, anyone who has ever read more than two of his books knows that his stories are so rote now. What was once 'edgy' is now just boring."

[silence]

Kurt: "What, too harsh?"

Stuart: "I recall reading this article about French women in the office and there was this great line that people need to realise that their lives are not nearly as interesting as they would like to believe. The mantra is that one should never discuss one's children, or anything personal, as people really just don't care. It is tedious. I have to say, I tend to agree, although I can't say that the advice to discuss politics, art or literature would really work in my office."

Claire: "Yeah, and you have to admit, there are few better non-starters than to hear someone gushing about how happy they are. I want to reach for the nearest bottle when I hear someone talking about their beautiful, talented children, when back at the Ranch they are probably sugar-hyped little monsters."

Lester: "So, no children on the horizon any time soon then?"

Claire: "No, just drinking too much."

Stuart: "We are a very miserable group of people, I trust that you all realise that."

Ethan: "I like to think of it as enlightened, thank you very much"

Kurt: "Hardened by the wiles of the world."

Ethan: "I just think its funny, as if you think about almost all the popular TV series currently on, they all play this game of unrequited love and loss. He gets the girl, he loses the girl. She finds her man, he turns out to be an asshole, and then redeems himself. I don't mean to stereotype either gender, of course, but you know what I mean. There is this constant push-pull tension, which is all very farcical actually. I have always wondered what they are trying to tap into with that, although they are obviously appealing to something."

Lester: [falsetto] "Maybe one day, it will happen to me..."

Stuart: "I think I have lost count on how many shows I have lost interest in as a result of that dynamic. I always just want the girl to get the guy, or vice versa, and be done with it. This, now they're together...now they're not...oh, wait...they are again- it just irritates me."

Ethan: "A magician pulling a rabbit from the hat, and the showing you exactly how it is done. Sort of ruins it. And then combine that with a comedian pounding a joke into the floor, repeating the same thing over and over again. The joke inevitably has to lose its appeal. Kind of like adverts, actually."

Lester: "Oh, and as for that bro-mance nonsense. The moment I heard that phrase, I promised myself that I would never watch anything that is tagged in association with it. Gee, guys, did anyone ever think that men have friends? Let's call it something and exploit it for all its worth."

Kurt: "Speaking of which. did any of you see that news report on the growth of the so-called Ojo-man or "girly-men" in Japan? Its hilarious, they also refer to them as herbivorous males."

Claire: "What?"

Kurt: "They are attributing it to economic decline, but apparently there is this increasing growth of mostly heterosexual men in Japan who spend their time shopping at small boutiques and eating cake. Yes, you heard me correctly, apparently it is a big deal to eat cake."

Ethan: "Marie Antoinette would be so proud"

Kurt: "What really intrigued me about it, though was that, apart from interesting habits, which I will get to, these guys are mostly just profoundly normal. They keep low-key, humble jobs, look to women more as friends, and generally eschew those traditionally masculine past-times such as designer labels and fast cars."

Lester: "Alright, and the interesting habits?"

Kurt: "Well, it appears that in Japan they have begun marketing weaker beers, there is a company that sells bras for men (though Lord knows that purpose they serve) and there is a fashion designer who is about to release a collection of skirts and lacy tops for men."

Lester: "Sounds precious."

Stuart: "I love the fact that it is being attributed to the Depression- the argument being that people can't afford expensive cars, beautiful girlfriends or designer goods, so this is the evolution."

Claire: "I have to note 'can't afford beautiful girlfriends...' "

Kurt: "Well it is true, even if I am sticking my head up over the parapet by saying it. But to get back to my point, no mention is made of whether perhaps there is a more profound shift in male attitudes in the new century than just simply as a reaction to fiscal problems."

Ethan: "Well, I once told a girlfriend that men, as previously existed, are a dying species. In my opinion, it is a reality that any educated man is not permitted to be a boorish chauvinist if he wishes to have any sort of life outside of bachelor-dom. Men are expected to take proper care of themselves, dress well, cook, and show far more empathy and emotion than ever before. In fact, the development of the feminist movement necessarily had to erode the notion of the "traditional" male to such an extent that is now expected that men be in "touch with their feminine sides". I am not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, but I do think that it is creating a slight crisis in men, if not for both genders. It almost as if we are trying to create a neuter-sex as the norm for society."

Claire: "What did your girlfriend say to that?"

Ethan: "Not much, we broke up shortly afterwards."

Claire: "Serves you right for suggesting that men shouldn't at least know how to cook."

Stuart: "But what do you mean by a neuter-sex? Is that not a little extreme?"

Ethan: "Well, possibly, but what I am saying is that society seems to be heading in the direction where women are expected to be tougher, and more aggressive in their business transactions, whilst men are expected to be gentler and be, dare I say it, more sophisticated in their interactions with people. In other words, we have a situation where people, depending on their gender, are expected to adopt traits of the other in order to attain success."

Claire: "I don't think you're correct there at all. Let's face it, the problems women face in the work place are just as bad as they have ever been. Most men still behave as they own the place, and just treat women as second class citizens, as objects more often than not."

Kurt: "But I think you forget that there are more women in positions of power than ever before. I don't say there is equality, in position or income, between men and women, to the contrary, but we do have a situation where some major businesses are run by women. That would certainly have never been allowed before."

Ethan: "I have always thought that in the working world, most jobs are generally better suited to women than men. Let's face it, women are generally far harder working, and much more conscientious about things. A guy will just get it done, and clean up the mess afterwards. I think it is worth noting that men are now expected to try and match these traits, just to survive in most professional jobs, and especially at the lower entry levels of employment."

Kurt: "There is just that pesky reproduction thing."

Lester: "All hail the conquering hero- men are safe...If they are better than you, just get them pregnant and make sure you get their job."

Ethan: [laughter] "I think your chauvinism just showed us that the alpha-male tendencies are alive and well. Sorry folks, false alarm. This whole discussion is completely incorrect, there is no crisis."

Claire: "Yeah, you're not allowed to speak any more. And I think you may find your bed very cold later."

Ethan: "Joking aside, I do think that the manifestations of the "modern male" and expectations of them are beginning to become firmly ensconced in the public eye. Take, for example, the new mania on male grooming. There is an unprecedented growth in male cosmetics, which although people are talking about them, haven't really made it into the mainstream public yet, as far as I know. My personal favourite has to be "guy-liner"- that has to be marketing licence if ever I have heard it."

Kurt: "The companies must think it is hilarious. Take eye-liner, rename it and pretend its something new. 'Specially designed for men, get yours today' "

Ethan: "But I would say that as a general rule, most of these products have been accepted, even if many guys are just too embarrassed to talk about it. Think about how common it is now for guys to moisturize, or to dye and gel their hair. Gone are the days of the caveman, letting his natural odour speak for him."

Stuart: "I cannot believe we are actually talking about this."

Kurt: "There is a flaw in your argument though. It is not as if girls have given up on the chauvinist male. In fact, they are alive and well, and generally have better romantic lives than your "sensitive nice guy". In fact, all of your perennially single males fall precisely into the latter category, whilst, generally, the jocks, have girls chasing them furiously."

[silence]

Claire: "I think you just hit a nerve."

Kurt: "Did I?"

Claire: "Yeah, I think that argument has been a great source of consolation over the years."

Kurt: "Oh. Sorry. Well, those girls can reap the benefits of their choices in the future."